hey its me again.... stressed out tired and just iono BLAH thats the word to explain how i feel... not that the joys of motherhood aren't there its just that just like with school work and all sorts of things you do get tired. I love my leila but yes i am tired and wish i had a moment to myself. Just some time to just THINK!!! I just need a break... only thing is wen i do get i break all i do is worry bout leila... so basically I still dont get a break...
leila is getting more and more beautiful each day she is just starting to get around... i wouldnt call wut she does crawling... its more of a combat crawl its adorable.... She seems to be learning more and more things each day.... her personallity changed a lot... shes not as crabby as she wuz before (thank God) lol she has a sense of humor and is startinf to laugh at things she things is funny... shes ticklish wen you kis her neck and armpits hahaha... shes a monster though she likes to roar at things... wen left alone she tends to babble on and on like she actually knows wut shes sayin.. she just started eating cherrios and SHE LOVES IT! last night she slept through the whole night woot woot... only thing though is i kept waking up on my own thinking i didnt hear her cry... so yet again.... no sleep..
Am i sleep deprived HELLLLL YAAAAA lol but im getting used to it i guess... i guess i finally realised that this is how its gonna be for a VERY VERY long time....
LOl i am such a girl.... wut do i mean by that?? well i still fantisize about my wedding and wut not... LOl today in class i pictured ways that i would be proposed by robert... lol iono im a real romantic.. but i try not to get my hopes up though ... i mean i am happy as long as we dooo get married hahaha but i do still think about MY DREAM WEDDING HAHA ... i always pictured a nice sunny day a beautiful senery with flowers everywhere RED ofcourse... nd me pulling up in a white beautiful carrige pulled by beautiful white horses. My dress would be sexy but classy at the same time leila would be the flower grl nd josh would be the ring barrer (iono how to spell that ll) a honeymoon in hawaii and a brand new two story hosue somewhere in a cute lil peaceful non-ghetto neighborhood LOL
i catn wait till the day i get help with takin care of lei.... not from my rents though cuz shes my daughter nd my responsibitlity so i dont feel i should put wut im responsible for on them ya know?? i have a lot of pride too i guess...i dont want them payin for nething for her... cuz im not a charity case... nd im the parent im the one whose supposed to provide for her ...
well neways im tired ...outzzz
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