It's finally here...

I've been through so much....

so much for Leilani....

I love her so much

From the moment i was aware of her exsistance I PROMISED HER a good life....

I promised her that I would DEDICATE my life to being the BEST MOTHER I could possibly be for her.

I remember when I heard her first cry in that delivery room I burst into tears...

wow i was young. 16 years old so young... yet so blessed.

The first time i saw her was magical...

She looked just like the picture in my baby book

all i could think at that first moment i saw her was "Wow God... she's beautiful."

I remember holding her in my arms ignoring the nurses looking at me funny because I was so young...

i drowned out the stares because all I cared about was this little angel in my arms...

I brought her home chirstmas eve...and she was precious...

Everyday I held her, sang to her, and made a promise... a promise to give her a good life...

everyday i kissed her and smiled at her.

She grew to be so happy and she made me grow to be so determined

Every moment i spent at school was for her....

I went above and beyond in school for her... because she deserved it.

I didn't want her to be deprived of a good life because of my bad choices...

Failure wasn't an option for me.



I can't believe the time for the adoption is next friday....

I was put through so much because of him...

and yet his side always made me feel like I was the bad person...

why is that?

I took care of her ON MY OWN...

Taught her things ONE MY OWN

Fed her BATHED HER ON MY OWN!!!!!

I worried about money... on my own...

worried about clothes... on my own...

worried about Leilanis future ON MY OWN AND I GET TO FEEL GUILTY FOR HIS MISTAKES!!!!!

Not anymore....

Sorry... SORRY IS EMPTY IF THERE ARE NO ACTIONS...

words are powerful.... but useless if not acted upon.

I WAS LEFT ALONE AT THE AGE OF 16 TO CARE FOR HER

u know... I bottle up my feelings about it because i try to make things ok EVEN THOUGH YOU SCREWED UP

AND NOW YOU WANT HER?!?!?! AFTER ABANDONING HER FOR 3 YEARS? 3 out of the 4 years of her LIFE?!?!?!

SHes A BLESSING not a BURDEN! A BLESSING YOU DONT DESERVE!!

I AM DONE FEELING LIKE IM A BAD PERSON FOR WANTING THIS ADOPTION... FOR WANTING TO TERMINATE HIS RIGHTS...

because he gave them up when he abandoned her.

his side gets on me because they think im not giving him a chance....

well guess wut ? did he ever tell you that throughout the years of his absence I TRIED? no huh... did he tell you that each time he asked to see leila I said yes... and it never happend...not because of me but because of him... did he ever tell you that when he was "involved in her life" he only visited twice a week and didnt pay a dime no diapers no clothes no food.... did he tell you he didnt tell his father about her exsistance until i forced him to when she was 4 months old!!!no


I'm doing this because I believe that LEILANI DESERVES THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE

SHe deserves this adoption... she deserves a life with no broken promises to be seen... a life where shes thought of as important... and not someone to be forgotten about.

I stand firm and I stand strong on my position....

Leila,

... I love you... and I hope i've prooven to be a good mother to you.... i love you forever and always...

Love,
Mommy

copy cat baby

lol ethan does what allen does... is in the background of pictures