We all experience things that are tough and things we may not even want but God allows us to experience those things to learn and grow so he can give us something much more amazing after. But we always have to go through ithe tough things first to learn. And only until we learn what it is we need to learn thats when God can put you in a place that is 10 TIMES better then where you are now. Thats why some people always ask "Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?"(and believe me I'm guilty of asking this too) Why? because they haven't learned from their experiences and they just keep doing the SAME THING. Which is EXACTLY what insanity is... DOing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. For example ... My Pastor, Rick Warren, always jokes about this. He says people who have a ton of failed relationships get upset and complain about why it never works out. But its because when you bring yourself into the new relationship you're bringing YOU haha so whats the common denominator in all your failed relationships?... Now it can be a little harsh to take in if you are that person who that statment describes.. but its true. Yes there are times when the other party does something wrong in the relaitionship and things like that but you have to also think... if you are consistently going out with people who do you wrong.... maybe its the type of person you keep going for... and thats what needs to chage! Or maybe you are like how I was. THose of you who know me know that I never not had a boyfriend haha. Why? That was my coping mechanisim so I wouldn't hurt becuase I knew... the first two months in a relationship is that fun infatuation stage and having that made me not think about the loss of the person i was previously dating. I did this ALL the way until I met Allen. SO what happend that was so different until that point? Well lets start from my very first boyfriend (oh and if you are one of my ex's and your reading this dont take offense, HI! , and thanks for the life lessons haha) I was sooo young and when i had my little heart broken and found that hey... he doesn't really like me anymore but this person does... went to them so on it went from there... I'm not saying I didn't try to make the relationships work because I DID try but it just never worked out and I never wanted to feel heartache. SO then FINALLY ALlen comes into my life. But when I met him I had been through SOOO much with relationships, having Leilani , so I just had it at that point. I had a major ONE on ONE with GOd and decided "you know what Lord I would love to meet the Right Guy for me to get out of the hurt I'm feeling because of my last two breakups (becuase those last two impacted me a lot). My heart was at the point where I couldn't handle ANYMORE it just couldn't. SO I am deciding to do something I've never done befor and just focus on me. Me and what I need to do for myself and to make sure Leilani gets the best life possible." At last the curse had been broken! I had been single for the longest time I've ever been single...6 months hahaha. Those 6 months were great... and then Allen came along. I thought ohhhh no I'm not going to get another heartbreak can't do it I won't!... But ofcourse Allen was so charming... If you know Allen regardless if you are a girl or guy you know what I'm talking about. haha. Anyways... so I sort of stepped back and IMMEDIATLY went to God hahaa. Me nd GOd deliberated about this one. I was scared... lets face it... if you know me... Allen wasn't the typical guy I went for. I used to go for guys whose Basketball Jerseys and Pro Clubs were all DOUBLE XL but they were much smaller then a Double XL. Or guys that would beat u up if you stepped on their FRESH Jordans. I liked Allen but was afriad of change. I also thought we were soooo different. I'm LOUD .. allens nice and Mellow... I'm crazy... Allens mature... I was Hip hop ... Allen was ROck... He was Old Navy I was Phat Farm hahaha. All jokes aside I prayed and Prayed but GOd gave me no reason to say no. I decided to go agaist the grain of what i had been choosing..... it was the best decision EVER..
ok i know that was a lot but what better way to learn but from other's experiences??... ANyways... If you are going through something right now... don't be afriad to take it HEAD ON and open your eyes to what God is trying to teach you! BE flattered that GOd wants you to be better you! I love you ALLL and I'm here for you too so dont be afriad to message me if you're at that point where its just so tough...
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