update

everything with me nd allen is going great...

I thank GOd because I havent been happy like this in years... I pray that wut im feeling is true... that me nd allen will get married and have a family of our own...

other people might think its really wierd cuz we've only been together for about a month.... but in my heart i know its right....its different with the whole robert thing...i was convinced me nd rob would get married cuz he convinced me we would... this time... it feels right... it feels like it fits and it feels like this is how its supposed to be...

allen fits what i've been asking God for all these years...and i am so Thankful to GOd... 

I can tell Allen cares about lei too which is something that is hard to find...but sometimes wen she acts up im scared that hes gonna get stressed out nd feel like hes too young to deal with parental things... just like ALe did.... but I talked to Allen about it nd he sed he understands my sistuation and he knew that all that came along with our relationship... he constantly comforts my insecurities about our relationship and im really thankful... noone has looked at me the way he does... he looks at me like im really beautiful.... even though i dont think so... ...

i love that he still thought i wuz cute wen he came to my house nd i had just woken up nd i wuz in my red ns white shorts... a blue class of 2007 shirt that wuz faded... andmy hair all messed up hahah bed head lol... hahaha nd he still looked at me like im beautiful... which helps me a lot because I am really insecure about my appearance...

we're going to hawaii this sat... im really excited... he actually paid for me to go... i've never had someone spend somuch money on me... which makes me feel really guilty.... but one day I promise that I will pay him back for all of this... I pray to God that it will be soon... That I can somehow pay him back soon...

I love his family... more then they know... I've never had a big family the way they do nd I appreciate them treating me like I am...sometimes i feel like crying wen i think of how happy God has made me... I love these people...nd I can't thank them enough for caring for leila nd me... 

Leila's party was AWESOME... I couldnt believe how many people were actually there haha.... especially since i wuz like...who eva wants to come can come... nd i prepared everything but not that good haaha... omg... i loved it... everyone loved the reptile show... thordid a great job...

I cant wait till leila's party next year... who knows wuts gonna happen...

Chris changed... makes me sad... i dont know wut to do... i dont know how to help him if i cant even look at him... i can tell hes depressed... hes gained a lot of weight cuz of his depression..he needs to get out more enjoy the blessing that is life...

we finally have a designated play area for the kids.... its taken a lot of stress off me... I can just do wut i gotta do without worrying about wether or not they're tarin the house down lol...

leilas talking bak... terrible twos??? i have nooo idea... I hope its just a week phase

well i'll update more later... MUAHZ