To my husband

There are moments when you're not looking that I look at you just adoring you...and loving you.... and thanking God for being so gracious to me for allowing me to have someone like you to be my husband.
 
sometimes i get so overwhelmed by how undeniably handsome you are and I just wanna pinch you to death ...
 
I don't know if you know exactly how greatful I am to you for everything that you've done for not only me but our family...
 
every hour you spend at work is appreciated, every chore you struggle to do even though you're so tired, every place you've brought leilani so she could enjoy life, every time you go out of your way to do something to make me happy when I'm upset, every hug, every kiss, every time you open the door for me, EVERYTHING.
When you first showed signs of liking me I was happy and scared.... happy because i liked you too... but scared because I didn't want to go through another hurt.... scared that I would be left again ... broken even more than I already was.
 
but after talking to God and Krys over nd over about you lol I finally decided that I was willing to take a risk being with you.... even though that could have meant loosing the only happiness i had left in me... it was truly a risk worth taking..
 
from the begining you knew right away that there was no loving me without loving my daughter .... and I have to say how impressed I was at how natural it was for you being with her.
 
I dont know if you know but one of the things that gave me a feeling that you were the one was on our first date....you pulled up to my house wearing ur cute black collard shirt and before we got into your truck you asked if we were bringing Lei... I was caught off gaurd because all the guys I tried talking to or went out with made it seem like such a hastle to bring Lei or never asked me if I wanted to bring Lei.... and it surprised me that you were considerate enough to think of bringing the most important person in my life on a date with us.... and you even had made plans of going to disneyland ... a place leilani would enjoy and was kid friendly  rather than just thinking about just me and you and taking us to a restaurant .... but of course being that it was the first date I didnt wanna bring her cuz I was scared... and didnt want to get my hopes up of actually having a guy interested in being a family.... 
 
but that truly stood out to me... and touched me... I knwo its such a simple thing...but I keep that moment dear to my heart because only you made that kind of effort for us. 
 
I remember telling nicole durring lunch at cerritos college one day that I thought that this was it... that you were the one I was going to marry... even though you hadn't asked me to be your gf yet.... I can remember the scene so perfectly... Nikkay and I were walking into the lil lunch thing at cerritos college... and I ofcourse went to frantones and ordered a pizza bread stick and a pepsi hahaha (ofcourse i would remember the food right lol) and as I was picking up my tray I told nikkay that I seriously meant it that I knew you were the one I was to marry... and she said AWWWWW and I said I'm not trying to be sweet or anything... I can just feel it....
 
you are the best risk of my life.... I couldn't imagine not only my life but days without you... I've already experienced a day or night without you and it is true;y unbearable...
 
I know I'm not perfect and I appoligize for every imperfectiong... for every sickness... for every time you've had deal with my problems..... 
 
I love how we can just talk about a lot of things and just agree and go on talking like best friends.... I love how we inspire each other to reach our highest potentials.... I love how we keep each other in line with our faith.... I love how family oriented we are.. and how we just want to experience life together...
 
I think its wonderful that God already knew we would marry each other from the moment we were born...
Darling... I cherish you.... I love you... and will forever and ever till death do us part here on earth...