life

sometimes im not sure of who I am... what my purpose is or where i stand under what subect...

sometimes i feel as i can comprehend a great deal that many others just cant... nd then there are times wen i just feel so stupid...

there are times when I feel as if I am the strongest woman alive.. and the there are days wen i feel so negative and so insignificant

some days I plan out how I will one day save the world... nd then there are days wen I realize just how big the world is...

its hard for me to say I am one way or another because like they say... it is impossible to say that we can truly figure out who we really are wen we are always constantly changing...


As for me and my faith... I don know exactly where I stand with God... again... I know my fault again... I know for sure that I believe tha he exsists but I dont know why its so hard for me to stay true to him and follow.... why did he make the path to him sooo hard to stay on.... but then again I guess it prooves our love for him by staying on that path... kind of how certain friends are always there for you and proove their loyalty to you and then there are others that you forgive but you dont consider worthy to really spend special occasions with...

Allen is a darling... he is still the sweetest man I know... I met Sarah and Charise(again) and ya... that wuz real test of character for me... i really really wanted to cuss the shit out of Sarah... but i didnt want to be immature and start stuff at an event that wasnt mine... I didnt like going very much....i mean some of his old co-workers were wak... they treated me funny like i didnt belong there or wutever... but i didnt really say anything to allen... all the guys were chill... half the girls there were wak ... well all cept for pam...

leilani is so beautifu... I cant beieve how grown she is... 

I cant believe that shes talking so good now... that she can try to form new sentances with the words she alreay knows... boy do i love her...

Rob actually visited her this month... once hahaha...he tried to call me to set up a time wen he coud hang out with her... but Allen's co-worker's thing came up so we werent able to.... I called him to find a different date that he could come and see her.. but we kept missing each others fone calls.... nd after that there has been no contact since the second weekend of jan.
february of 2008 is coming up real quick... I cant believe Im saying that its 2008.... I seriously thought the end of the world would have happend in 2007... but hey not my place to guess wen in God's time he will come and take us...

Lord I Love you please protect my family..


i've decided upon many things this new year... i decided that I would take up Psychiatric Technician at Cypress college and work as a Psyc tech and go to school for my Ph. D. in psychology. 

I really am going to try and work my way up there... I pray every day that I will


leila is so beautiful... Allen and lei look alike hahaha... i think mine nd allens children will look just l